Windows NT's Infernal Filesystem
About the Author
Oscar, for those precious few of you out there who've never watched Sesame
Street, is a furry green monster with bushy eyebrows who lives in a trash can.
He's normally grumpy and cantankerous, but he is capable of outbursts of joy,
usually brought on by a rotten fish, a rusted can, or some other piece of
garbage that he's found. Viewed from a different angle, Oscar is one of Jim
Henson's Muppets, performed by Caroll Spinney ever since Sesame Street hit the
airwaves in 1969.
Oscar was created to show kids that it's okay to be grouchy sometimes, we're all
grouchy a lot of the time, especially when we have to go to work after a night of
little sleep (such as those in which you stay up writing web pages like this
one). More importantly, though, one should admire Oscar because he's a
collector. He keeps all sorts of stuff, and he has a passion for the stuff he
collects. Best of all, the things he collects are generally regarded as trash by
everyone else on Sesame Street. That's where our bond with Oscar is the
strongest, because we also have a passion for collecting trash (or in some cases
it's our stock and trade when dealing with Windows software), whether it's an
empty Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal box, an LP by Kristy & Jimmy McNichol, a
Baywatch novel, or a video of The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped
Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies.
There are recordings of some of Oscar's forays into music. These are mainly to
be found on two albums: Let A Frown Be Your Umbrella (Children's Records of
America, 1974), and the CD compilation Oscar's Trashy Songs (Sony Wonder/CTW,
1997). Oscar's musical offerings usually express his fondness for things that
most people don't particularly like, such as noise ("Honk, Bang, Whistle", and
"Crash", "Oscar's Junk Band", "Noise"), mud ("Swamp Mushy Muddy", "Rain Falls"),
worms ("Hey Little Worm"), and unusual food combinations like ice cream with
pickles and sardines ("The Grouch Song", "Oscar's 'B' Sandwich").
Some of the songs also have a parodic element; when Farley starts singing the
old standard "Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella", Oscar interrupts and changes it
into "Let A Frown Be Your Umbrella." There is also "Grouchelot," which recalls
"Camelot" but doesn't use exactly the same tune. "Grouchelot" is truly a
magical place: "It's so yucky it's swell, and the rotten fish smell." Another
near-parody is "Oscar's Do Re Mi," which interprets the notes of the scale very
differently from Maria von Trapp: "DO, A gooey lump of bread that isn't cooked!
RE, The sun that wrecked my day!"
Of course there are also songs that extol the glories of garbage, such as
"There's A Big Heap Of Trash At The End Of The Rainbow" and Oscar's signature
tune, "I Love Trash." This last song appears on both Let A Frown Be Your
Umbrella and Oscar's Trashy Songs, as well as on the Sesame Street Original Cast
Album (Columbia, 1970). If you want more than Oscar's original version of the
song, you can find a cover version on the Elmopalooza! CD (Sony Wonder/CTW,
1998), performed by no less a luminary than Steven Tyler of Aerosmith!
The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (Columbia Tristar Home Video, 1999), exists
but unfortunately there was very little to be heard or Mr Grouch. The only time
we get to hear him sing is in the last song of the movie, and his was only one
of many voices singing in unison. Oscar had a significant role in the movie, of
course, but it just wasn't a musical one. His first scene, in fact, is pivotal.
When Oscar finds Elmo's blanket, he blows his nose into it and throws it into
his trash can. Elmo then goes down into the trash can to retrieve the blanket,
and he and the blanket get sucked through a multicolored vortex into Grouchland.
Even though we don't get to hear Oscar sing about the wonders of trash, we do
get a big musical number on the subject by the inhabitants of Grouchland, where
automobiles are put through a car mess to make them filthier and the population
washes with cheese rather than soap.
[Taken from the words of Dr Smith of TV Dinners]
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